Why I feel Like NACHO LIbre wearing his stretchy pants...

First off... NAcho Libre is one of Jason and I's Favorite movies! We quote it everywhere...we once quoted it the entire sacrament meeting giggling, poking eachother, shaking so hard... ....whoops shhh!!!! (it was before we had kids haha) Anyway...one of my most favorite parts is when they find Nacho in his room wearing stretchy pants...Nacho said :sometimes when you are a man..you wear stretchy pants in your room...just for fun... Or something to that effect... Nacho felt like he was conquering the world in that moment before he got caught haha! It made me think...Man Do I sometimes feel like him. I think every mom and dad should get medals and be allowed to "wear those stretchy pants" on occasion. Today I was super sick....I still managed to do the laundry (didnt fold it though), get my kids dressed (not myself), feed the kids, go to the bank, get groceries, and make dinner...Im still looking at piles of messes everywhere in my home... but gees I feel like A super hero!!! If you noticed.. I still seemed to not allow myself to see past the things I didnt accomplish.... I went and put on my batman shirt(Im so not kidding here) to remind myself that I should feel like Nacho today hahahaha... I shouldnt worry about what I can or cannot do or didnt do today... I should be feeling like I could and did conquer the world today!! Another thing that stuck out to me was Nacho kinda recoiled when he was caught basking in his awesome fearlessness...Sometimes I feel like I dont allow myself to really enjoy the moments that I felt I accomplished something great or something wonderful because It might come across in some negative way..... Im often called "Too nice she must be fake".....it made me start noticing the easy judgements each of us make..."Shes too nice...she must be fake (maybe she really is just that way...really nice! people do really nice things still!).... hes way too confident he must be totally into himself...(maybe hes had a really rough week or day and is trying to force himself to be confident so he doesnt cry because ya know men dont cry..boasting confidence is a self protection).. "shes soo beautiful...seems or must be stuck up", shes too fat, shes too skinny, hes too short, hes too tall, oh my gosh if that were my child there is no way that would happen misfit parent he/she is, or one of my other favorites..."you give way too much" or "you are way too selfish"...sigh..no one can win..im too giving, but then if i do something for myself im too selfish...if im too outgoing or too nice then i must be fake, but then if im closed off or hold back then im stuck up or too shy or judgemental...ay carrumba!!! we are in whiplash century... I know a lot of people are really good at not caring about what people think and I must admit I so need to be better at that... I worry a about how what i do will affect anyone in anyway even if that choice is whats best for my own family... maybe its because when I was bullied for so long as a younger girl I felt that pain of peoples acitons and words... I dunno..and maybe we all are just always on the defense and shouldnt take offense so easily? lol i dunno.. I definitely could be so much better though at not worrying so much and everything else for that matter... It all came down to.. I felt accomplished... I felt happy...and for once i felt satisfied with being imperfectly wonderful in that moment...just like NACHO hahaha!! So if you havent watched Nacho Libre...go watch it and think of the times you felt you conquered the world or could conquer it and be happy!!

Birthday cake, baby powder, and imperfection

I have two rowdy boys. When my first boy turned one I had a party, made this cake from scratch for the guests and made his smash cake so wonderfully "perfect" and decorated. I was so happy about this. Well my second boy turned one the other day. I was on a quest to make his cake so cute too. One of my best friends mentioned a cupcake cake. I was stoked to try it. First...I filled the top too full...thought to myself huh thats too full...put it in the oven. Of course it spilled over the side onto the burners and stunk and smoked her whole house up...hate that smell. Oh well we can work with that...took it out.. I was too impatient to wait for it to cool and frankly I was out of time. So I put the top of the cupcake cake on the bottom part of it and watched as after about ten mintues it fell apart....So as im watching this all go to pieces I realize I have two choices. I can either get more frustrated about the fact that its not working out "perfectly" as I want...or I can laugh.... and have fun...and try to figure out a way to make it work. So I scraped off the top and just had a round cake....again i frosted it before it was cool and it melted off the sides and melted a hole right in the middle of it... I decided it would be a molten lava cake...making it up as I went! I stopped thinking about what my "presentation" of his smash cake would look like to the rest of my husbands family for the party and focused on why I was making it in the first place. I was making it for my son, who I love more than I ever thought I could...and even though the frosting was falling off of it and I made a gigantic mess in my friends kitchen (love you thank you so much and so sorry again haha)we had so much fun and laughed really hard. It got me thinking.... how much am I missing out on life because I feel the need to be perfect? I hate being fearful of negative judgments. My not so cute cake was "imperfectly" perfect to my son....and I also entertained myself and my friend in the process. Why does the drive to be so perfect, never make a mistake, and to judge those who do, have such a strong grip on this community we are in? What happened to helping one another become their best self...what happened to being truly happy for your neighbor, friends, family who have good things happen to them or "get ahead"? Trust me I am no saint... Im not perfect in this either...but I so want to make sure Im doing better every day. I realized that i dont know everything...and thinking or acting like you do know everything (for example how to make a birthday cake haha!) does nobody any good. I realized that in this "crazy road called life" There is a lot of misunderstanding, lack of communication, unnecessary pain and a TON of forgiveness that needs to happen, and also people who can help you and you can learn from... I loved the quote "Dont judge me because I sin differently than you" from conference... what a slap in the face of pure and utter truth that is!!! I also learned that we could all use a little more trust in people...a little more understanding... a little less offense and more trying to remember when we ourselves have been in their shoes. i also learned that patience goes a long way.... My oldest son decided it would be awesome to take an entire bottle of baby powder to the floor, mirrors, and sinks...and to add water, and eh why not a little dash of baby liquid soap too....what a fun event that was to find....I looked at his little face as I gasped and said "Hunter!" I realized...wow... this little boy was having soo much fun...does it really matter theres a huge mess? But somehow I never remember to stop and take a breath like I did this time. I looked at his scared stiff little self and decided to ask him "Did you have fun?"...he looked at me weird and said "yes" I said "I bet it really was fun...Id have fun doing it too...but guess what...it made a HUGE mess and when you make a mess youve gotta clean it up right?" "ya" so obviously he doesnt know how to clean this baby powder gunk mess up ...but I taught him how and asked him how he thought we should clean it up and took the time to do it. He was a happy little boy....not only that I was changed. I realized how important it is to "take a breath" as one of my sister in laws so wisely stated. I need to take more breaths...wow ... a lot of them..every day...not only with my children, but with myself, my husband, friends, coworkers, and relatives. My way of thinking, or doing things is not the one and only right way...geesh ... its a good thing I have kids to teach me a plethora of good lessons. sigh. I feel like The outside world brings us down enough...we dont need to add to it on our own.... Maybe our positive outlook and helping people see the positive will change lives...not only that but when you focus on the negative thats all youll find...if you focus on the positive youll see more positive.....anyway...enough for today.